the history museum.

thistlewoods.

(The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath)

a book on horses.

made me miss a good friend.

ate a lot of apples.

(no) more lists.

everything is.

there's something that can be done.

i never say that word.

"I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly, but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men’s, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last."
Self-Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson

two outside.

Sunday Synchronicity - m4w (coffee shops everywhere)

Date: 2011-09-18, 6:44PM EDT
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All things come to an end.

Location: coffee shops everywhere
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my only regret.

and sometimes they stare out the window.

yes, still.

you looked so pretty and shy.

Bakery Babe - m4w - 27 (Somerville)

Date: 2011-07-27, 3:57PM EDT
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You: the best smile. Eyes: Subtle and Blue. You're infinitley patient with the choosy lady who loves, perplexingly, scones. You seem very nice and are just so easy to talk with. Smart, worldly, funny.

me: a boy whose heart is his own, but, temporarily on loan to you.

Location: Somerville
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Fragile Smile - m4w - 30 (Centre Street in Jamaica Plain)

Date: 2011-07-29, 9:22PM EDT
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[Errors when replying to ads?]

It was almost 7:30pm tonight (Friday), and you were headed south on Centre Street, from Pond Street toward City Feed. You were in a black and white dress and prepared for the weather with a red umbrella. As I passed by, you offered a fragile smile, and I wondered both about the offer and the frailty of it. I hope you are still wearing it.

Location: Centre Street in Jamaica Plain
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the visitor.

Basement

To dream that you are in a basement, symbolizes your unconscious mind and intuition. The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction. It represents primal urges, animalistic desires and basic needs. The dream may also be metaphor for "abasement" or being "debased". Are you feeling humbled or unworthy?

To dream that the basement is in disarray and messy, signifies some confusion in which you need to sort out. These are things that you have "stored" away or put aside in your mind because you do not know what to do with it or you do not have the time to deal with it. It may also represent your perceived faults and shortcomings.

something to do.

Table and chair; pen and paper; text and time : an exploration of handwriting. Everything goes faster and faster, though sometimes not. I want to talk about slowness in a sense—that it doesn’t matter how long it takes to make or to do something. Slow time or fast time, it’s about quality time. My goal is to expand a state of awareness, accountability for daily actions, and the potential for a richer spectrum of experience for individuals and communities through the example of handwriting.

HELGA SCHMID.

soft serve.

Movie

To dream that you are watching a movie, suggests that you are watching life pass you by. Perhaps you are living vicariously through the actions of others. Consider also how the movie parallels to situations in your waking life. Observe how the characters relate to you and how they may represent an aspect of yourself.

Movie Theater

To dream that you are in a movie theater, indicates that you are attempting to protect yourself from your emotions and/or actions. Viewing them on a movie screen projects them onto another person and thus makes those feelings and actions seem more distant. Your unconscious is trying to protect you from experiencing them directly.

where should we stop for gas?

Truck

To see a truck in your dream, suggests that you are overworked. You are taking on too many tasks and are weighed down by all the responsibilities.

like charlie bucket.

two words: belly ache.

like a question unposed.

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Passarge of Hamburg dresses up as a cat and dances on wine bottles in June 1958. Her performance was based on a dream. She practiced for eight hours a day to do this. So we’re told.

but maybe i made that up.

old-fashioned.

that long never ending list.

(Nothing but Death)

There are cemeteries that are lonely,
graves full of bones that do not make a sound,
the heart moving through a tunnel,
in it darkness, darkness, darkness,
like a shipwreck we die going into ourselves,
as though we were drowning inside our hearts,
as though we lived falling out of the skin into the soul.

Pablo Neruda

alice.

he cried the first time he heard it.

two drifters off to see the world.

when it's over, i want to say: all my life i was a bride married to amazement.

THE SUMMER DAY

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver.

to love and friendship.

more than promised.

this is a good old man.

Sideways by Richard Martin.

every single word.

finally.

yesterday.

that leaves no other time.

since everything is in our heads.

coco before chanel.

with a fountain pen in the first place.

The Library from Sergey Stefanovich on Vimeo.

i feel much better knowing that this man exists. so much better.

machines of loving grace.

for fear you will be alone

For fear you will be alone
you do so many things
that aren’t you at all.

Richard Brautigan

but i wish i could remember.

it is the most complex thing.

congestive heart failure.

elizabeth taylor: 1932-2011.

vonnegut.

long walk to forever.

and i'll be secure for a little.

twist and rinse.

october.

*and wear sun dresses,

you have to want it.

she'll give you a toothache.

Skillet Strawberry Jam

1 L strawberries (4 cups), hulled
1/2 cup sugar
juice of half a lemon (about 1 Tbsp.)
1/4 tsp. pure vanilla extract (optional)

In a bowl, roughly mash your strawberries with a potato masher (you may need to lean into it at first, to get them going) or squeeze them with your fingers. Put them into a large skillet (cast iron is perfect!) with the sugar and lemon juice and cook over medium-high heat, stirring often and breaking up large chunks of berry with your spoon, until it thickens and your spoon leaves a trail across the bottom of the pan. (It should take about 10 minutes.) If you like, stir in the vanilla. Cool. Makes about 1 1/2 cups.

my oyster.

the world at large.

mount st. helens.

never be sad.

ascending peculiarity.

the gorey consequences

went by the boston athenaeum
under dressed
bicycle under our bottoms
one almost flat tire each
over the salt and pepper bridge
around charles street
man at the desk asked why we were there
when the obvious line was already formed
he wore a fur coat in his bio
there was a glass case with his tiny illustrated books
in the size of a quarter
that was just the kind of man he was
peculiar and acquiring great handwriting

-annie park.

Elegant Enigmas: The Art of Edward Gorey
February 9 - June 4, 2011

she smiled and left.

norwegian wood by haruki murakami.

pick a hand.

new batteries in the flashlight.

Bicyclist on a beautiful vintage blue - m4w - 25 (Mass Ave along Porter)

Date: 2011-02-19, 3:39PM EST
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Hey there, saw you and your gorgeous ride (with front basket) across the street heading from Porter to Harvard. You were dressed as though you came from the paddock - liked the look. I ride a banana yellow vintage Schwinn named Eleanor. Bike date?

Location: Mass Ave along Porter
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the man could never be reduced to fact.

On May 1, 1908 harry houdini jumped from the harvard bridge.

basket girl.

I am almost positive that I am living in Dorothy's house.
And becoming quickly aware of a few other similarities.

for what it's worth.

damned and beautiful.

irina werning.

grilled cheese sandwiches.

a slim beauty.

tennessee williams. i'm in love.

nothing's more beautiful than a woman in tears.

jean-luc godard. i'm telling you. every single one.

someone i used to know.

Bobby Burns: I think you will get a real kick out of the photo albums. HE was a ship gunner in WWII, a SF session drummer with some of the best be-bop musicians of the 40' and 50's. He was living in Sacramento when I lived there in the early 90's. He died in the mid-90's from liver failure (no doubt, right? see photos). He was a real hoot. One of a kind. A madman ladies man in the old world sense. A great drummer. Great fashion maverick. Who else could get away with straw hats, women's sunglasses, violet polka-dotted shirts and hot pink pants - with a glass of scotch in hand - all at once? I think you will like the quality of some of the images too. All these people in the photos aI used to know. Strange looking back and seeing so many old friends and lovers and side characters. I am starting you off on the page where Bobby is sitting with some of the members of CAKE - they were from Sac.

the lively morgue.

lens.

private world.

henry darger.

dang, yo.

the artwork of james paul manning.

you wouldn't be the first.

nothing to be done but find the good.

hung one more year on the line.

[it's about survival]

after all, a girl likes to know.

A practical film about dating in a young man or woman's life.
You can learn a lot from the movies.

*I found this accidentally while looking for a paul simon song. I swear.

from: kyle.

in the circle mirror.

get out of the rain silly.

and sometimes, when they are and you don't know it.

i feel old, but not very wise.

an education.
it between long two afternoons spent on buses and trains, i shared a blanket with my mother and watched this movie. it was worth it.

it needs to be the other way around.

fishtailing.

rides a bike.

a friend of mine.

the more i wonder.

she is sad lately, and.

Night Life

I thought it was you but I couldn't tell.
It's so hard, working with people, you want them all
To like you and be happy, but they get in the way
Of their own predilections, it's like a stone

Blocking the mouth of a cave. And when you say, come on let's
be individuals reveling in our separateness, yet twined
Together at the top by our hair, like branches, then it's OK
To go down into the garden at night and smoke cigarettes,

Except that nothing cares about the obstacles, the gravity
You had to overcome to reach this admittedly unimpressive
Stage in the chain of delusions leading to your freedom,
Or is that just one more delusion? Yet I like the way

Your hair is cropped, it's important, the husky fragrance
Breaking out of your voice, when I've talked too long
On the phone, addressing the traffic over my balcony
Again, launched far out over the thin ice once it begins to smile.

J. Ashbery.

pas si simple.

somewhere in her weak heart.

THE LACE

1

Being human: term for a flickering possession,
existence of a happiness still undemonstrated:
is it inhuman, that a pair of eyes
turned into this small densely woven piece of lace?
Do you want them back?

You, long since vanished, and finally blind-
is all your human joy here inside this thing
where your huge feelings went, as between
stem and bark, miniaturized?

Through a tear in fate, a tiny interstice,
you absented your soul from its own time;
and it is so present here in this light
section of lace, it makes me smile at "usefulness."

2

And if someday all we have done
and all that has happened to us
seems so inferior and strange,
as though there'd been no point
in taking the trouble to outgrow our first pair of shoes
just to come to this-...Shouldn't this
strip of yellowed lace, this tightly meshed
flowery border of lace suffice
to keep us here? Look: this at least got done.

A life was ignored in the process, who knows.
A delight was there, was going to be sacrificed,
and finally at any cost
there would exist this thing, not easier than life
yet finished and so lovely, as though it weren't too soon
to smile and soar.

Rainer Maria Rilke
translated by Franz Wright

elbows on the window sill.

mirror shots.

sophie van der perre.